Category Archives: Parenting

Involving Your Children in Vacation Plans

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We are Disney fanatics who are lucky enough to live close to Disney World so we can go quite often. We also are Disney Vacation Club owners so it makes it even easier to vacation there or at Disney’s Vero Beach Resort. But after going there every year for two long trips and several short ones for the past 10 years even I want a change.

My daughter is very interested in weather. She watches our local forecast a few times a day and the national one at least once a day. She enjoys seeing the odd weather patterns, like tornadoes, hurricanes, and her all time favorite, snow storms.

Poor child who was born and raised in Florida has never seen snow. She’s been asking for a few years to go somewhere so she can see it for herself. I, my husband and her discussed traveling up to Niagra Falls, New York, NYC and other places where she can take part in new adventures and actually see and feel snow.

We used a map, the internet, and our DVC site to see what hotels we can stay at. We’ve looked at catalogs and websites to find cold weather clothing. I had to explain to her what Icebreaker Clothing is. She helped with all of the planning so it’s become something to really look forward to. She’s also learning the cost of the trip, how long it will take to drive, geography and lots more. We’re still planning as we won’t be able to go until either the end of this year or the beginning of next year. I’ll keep you posted as we continue this journey.

Improper Idols For Children

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We are not going to agree on what you want your children to see on TV, to read, to watch at the movies, what music they should listen to or what toys they should own. But I think we can agree on the idea of setting boundaries.

Tonight my 10 year old daughter and I watched Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards when to my shock on came the Pussy Cat Dolls, gyrating in their clothes that expose a lot of skin. I wondered why in the world would this group be at a children’s event. They are not something that I want my daughter to see. Their are way to provocative for my taste.

One of the songs they sang was “When I Grow Up”. I looked up the lyrics and here’s the beginning of the song:

Boys call you sexy and you don’t care what they say. See every time you turn around, they calling your name. (Repeat 2x) Now I’ve got a confession. When I was young I wanted attention and I promised myself that I’d do anything, anything at all for them to notice me….

Not the kind of message that I want my daughter to learn either. But did I turn off the TV or forbid her from watching the rest of the show? No. After it was over, we sat and talked about them and what they stand for. I didn’t lecture but I was sure to get my point across that being sexy, or dressing like a slut isn’t what anyone needs to do. I allowed her to tell me why she liked this group and then we looked at the lyrics of the song.

Just think, Chris Brown was removed from the Kids Choice Awards, why were the Pussy Cat Dolls even considered to be on the show in the first place?

I don’t hide my child from real life but I do set boundaries about certain areas of her life. One of my responsibilities as a mother is to educate her on morals. And I can’t do that if she’s playing with a Bratz doll while watching young women in skimpy clothes sing about using sex to gain success.

What are some of the boundaries you have for your children?

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Honesty And Your Children

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I grew up in a family where the theme song could have been “The Queen of Denial”. There were secrets about everything including my mother’s first marriage. I was able to figure it out when my parents celebrated their anniversary and my older sister’s age was older than the years they were married. It was awful to feel betrayed.

So how honest should you be with your children? What topics are on the table? Do you discuss your past drug or alcohol use, your past problems with the law? Do you share your current family financial problems? What are the boundaries?

  1. Keep in mind the age and level of understanding of your child. Gear your information to that.
  2. Children can sense when there is something wrong. So even if you don’t discuss a problem in their presence, they are usually aware of the stress.
  3. Honesty is the best policy. It is true when it comes to children too.
  4. Children trust their parents. If they learn that there has been dishonesty from their parents depending on how bad the untruth is and the age of the child, it can be devastating. It doesn’t mean it cannot be repaired, but it may take time and professional help.
  5. Not knowing can make children think things are worse than than they really are. Childrens’ imagination can work overtime if they wonder.
  6. When it concerns your past, sharing information that can come out later, such as drug usage, being incarcerated, etc. can be told in small doses as your child is able to understand. Keeping this a secret will only make it worse when it comes time to tell your child.
  7. If your child is adopted, the same applies as above. Make it part of their life from when they are young.
  8. Seek professional help if there is something that is painful to discuss.

What are some of the things you have had to share with your child? How did you handle it?

Helping Children With Homework

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Teachers know which parents are involved with their children’s school work. It is easily apparent to them. In order for your children to be successful in school, your involvement is necessary. You can assist them with their school work, with studying and by volunteering at the school. Today’s post will focus on homework and studying with your children.

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  • Prepare a healthy snack for your child when they return home from school. This gives your child some energy to get her tasks done. It is also a good way to transition from school to home as well as allows you as a parent to talk a bit with your child.
  • Provide a quiet place for homework and studying. Do not allow music or TV even if your child says it helps. It doesn’t. (There are always exceptions to the rules. Parents and teachers will know if this is the case. Follow your instincts.)
  • Help your child stay organized. Provide a planner, notepad, or some other way of keeping track of what homework is due, what tests and reports are coming up, etc.
  • When assisting your child, be patient, speak quietly and be positive.
  • Find what works best with your child. Is it better for him to use flash cards or re-write their notes? What is their learning style? If you need assistance with this, the teacher can be helpful with this. You can also learn by observing your child. Then use what works.
  • Praise your child on their efforts, not only on the results.
  • If you require special study materials, speak to your child’s teacher. He may be able to provide these for you or suggest where to purchase them at a discount. You may also be able to find these at the library, thrift store or by borrowing from other parents.
  • Don’t do for your child, assist.
  • If the school work is too difficult for you, swallow your pride and talk to the teacher. You may be surprised to know that this is a common problem. You may be provided with a textbook, or personal help from the teacher for your child.
  • Attend all parent/teacher meetings. Call or write to your child’s teacher if your child is still having a problem with a subject even with your help.

When you begin helping your child with their studies early in her school life, it makes it easy later when school gets more difficult. There is a routine, a setting for studying and open lines of communication between you, your child and your child’s teachers.

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Toddler Discipline

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Toddlers are old enough to begin to learn about following directions, what “No” means and have a routine to follow. When my children were toddlers, I began to teach them about what is right and wrong, about manners, and how to control their frustration.

Having a routine makes things so much easier for both you as a parent and for your child. It creates a feeling of comfort and creates limits which all children need. Knowing when lunch and naps are makes your days easier by preventing frustration.

Of course with all of our best intentions put into place, children will misbehave. We as adults do! So what to do about it?

Consequences – If your little boy refuses to help clean up his toys, then those toys are taken away for a few hours or the rest of the day. When your little girl jumps on the couch then she can’t sit on the couch for the day.

Time Out – Use only when your toddler can’t control him or herself. If their anger or frustration is too difficult for them to handle on their own, a time out may be in order. At this age, don’t use a time out to punish.

Taking Away Privileges – Remove a special toy, book, or game that a child enjoys for a day. The difference between this and Consequences is that the item that is removed is not related to the behavior.

When you discipline, refrain from yelling or showing anger. Treat the situation in a matter of fact way. This way you are not giving attention to misbehavior. Children crave attention and will want it even if it is in negative form. I’ll write about positive attention in another post. And don’t forget to speak eye to eye. Get at down to your child’s level when speaking.

What works for you? Do you think that something works better based on your child’s temperament? Share what you do and don’t do too.

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